I have been trying to set myself and my home up in such a way that I can be successful in focusing in the areas I want to for 2012. Specifically related to Goal Focus post. As I have been doing that I came across a notebook I started back in 2009. It is a Writer’s Notebook. A place (nothing fancy, just a regular notebook), that I wanted to keep items that inspire me for writing. Quotes, first line of a book, a paragraph in a book that spoke to me…a place to stop and write it down, so I wouldn’t forget. Goodness knows this 40+ brain of mine does not remember like it used to.
I found it today. I haven’t added anything since November 2010. Wow, I can’t believe I forgot about it. I am starting it again. But in the meantime I was paging through what I did write,and this one really jumped out at me. It is from The Writing Life by Annie Dilliard. You can find it on pages 78-79.
“One of the few things, I know about writing is this: spend it all, shoot it, play it, lose it all, right away, everytime. Do not hoard what seems good for a later place in the book or for another book; give it, give it all, give it now. The impulse to save something good for a better place later is the signal to spend it now. Something more will arise for later, something better. These things fill from behind, from beneath, like well water. Similarly, the impulse to keep to yourself what you have learned is not only shameful, it is destructive. Anything you do not give freely and abundantly becomes lost to you. You open your safe and find ashes.”
That is so profound on so many levels. It applies to writing, but it really applies to anything in life. As I have been setting up my scrapping area, I can see where I have saved that perfect paper, perfect embellishment or even that story to use or tell later when it will be used on a better page or I am more ready to tell that story. The paper doesn’t seem so perfect now. Some of the stories are lost.
I can see where I have some upcycling projects that are sitting there because I might come up with a better idea for that item, or I will be more proficient with a technique so I can do a better job. There they sit.
I can see where I have not written something on my blog because I might offend someone who does not agree with me, or who might make fun of me. I almost didn’t write this post because it is a musing of mine, and that isn’t why I have this blog. What will people think?
Each time I held back because I was afraid. Afraid not to be perfect. But I am not perfect. So today I am not going to be afraid. I am going to do something, even if I don’t know the perfect way to do it.
How about you? Do you hold something back or do you spend it all, give it all, play it all right away?